A real awakening

At UNI today they started talking about ethnisity and culture, some of the people said that they were proud Australians and no matter how they looked at it they were Australians, they couldn't change it even if their wanted to, some of them seemed to indicate that where you are born is where your ethnisity lies, so what is my ethnisity?
Swedish?
Would any swedish person actually agree that I'm swedish?
How about Brasilian then?
Same story there, I'm born there and thats about it.
What can I say that I am?
I've said all my life that I'm swedish because I'm raised that way, swedish culture.
This reminds me about the family who locked their youngest son inside their cellar together with some dogs, the boy started to act like a dog and even thought he were a dog, but no matter how people looked at him, he were a human thinking he was a dog.
Isn't this a bit of the same?

After I became older "wiser" I started asking myself all theese questions, I've always had this void inside, wondering who I am, what my family's history would be, if things could've been different.

I'm not saying that I do not appreciate everything my family has done for me, still are doing for me, don't know where I had been if it wasn't for them, I love them like a son would love his family, but at the same time there's something missing.

I actually envy most of my friends because they know who they are, where their genes come from, they feel the mateship with everyone else and doesn't stick out like me or other's like me.

A reason for me going to Australia more than study were that I belive I can find myself here, find a place I feel I belong in, I don't belong in sweden or norway, I was raised there but I feel like a black sheep in a white sheep farm.

Take Norway for instance, I have been acused for drugsmugling, for being an anchorchild and also every damn time I travel across that border, wether it's by plane or by bus they stop me, why? Because I look different, it doesn't matter that I speak the language fluently or that I've lived there for ten years, in their eyes I'm nothing but an immigrant who rapes their daughters and start pointless fights.

I've been yelled at on the street by normal people, "damn nigger go back where you came from", is it weird I feel like I don't belong?

Who am I really?

I can speculate about my genes, I think that my ancestors came to Brazil from Africa where many slaves where removed, many of them where brought to Brazil or South America, I only think this because I've been told that I look like an african.

But what do I know, I will probably live my whole life wondering, asking theese questions, never get a proper answer or even a hint.